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When Insults Had Class   take me to more humor



"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." --
Winston Churchill
 


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
 


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx
 


 
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain
 


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde
 


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by Churchill's response:

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill
 


 
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
 


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
 


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
 


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
 


 
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
 


"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
 


 
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain
 


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
 


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
 


 
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
 


Winston replied, "Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!"

 

                            Winston Churchill (before he became the

                Prime Minister). While drunken at a party, he

                was approached by an angry lady:  "Sir, you are

                drunk!"

                To which Churchill simply replied,

                "Yes madam, but you are ugly. I shall be sober

                in the morning."

 

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