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'Twas The Month After Christmas 
 
'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,  not even a blouse.

 

The cookies I'd nibbled, the chocolate I'd tasted

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

 When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely prepared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

 

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...

I said to myself, as I only can,

"You can't spend a winter, disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

 

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

 

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. 
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

 

True confession made by reader Esther L., Greenville, PA - - - A seriously great nurse!

 

retirement housing on less than a shoestring

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