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RED SKELTON'S RECIPE  FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

 

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a 
 Little beverage, good food and companionship.
  She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.


2. We also sleep in separate beds.
 Hers is in
California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
 But she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our    
  Anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"    
  She said.
  So I suggested the kitchen.


5. We always hold hands.
 If I let go, she shops.


6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric    
 Bread maker.
 She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
 To sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
 There was water in the carburetor.
 I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
  Then the mud fell off.


9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late    
 For the garbage?" .. The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
   First name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
   I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. 
   My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
   I said "Dust!"


Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it.........this is the good old days
When humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........  Just clean and simple fun
 

 

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