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Hope these instructions would be of benefit should you ever need them..... ??


 submitted by JCT, restauranteur, just north of Dallas, TX


In  case you needed further proof that the human race  is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual  label instructions on consumer  goods.


On  a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(That's  the only time I have to work on my  hair.)



On  a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!  No purchase  necessary.  Details inside.

(the  shoplifter  special?)



On  a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions:  Use like regular soap."

(and  that would  be???....)




On  some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."



(but,  it's just a  suggestion.)


On  Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --   "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh,  a bit late,  huh!)



On  Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --   "Product will be hot after  heating."

(..and  you  thought????...)



On  packaging for a Rowenta iron --   "Do not iron clothes on  body."

(but  wouldn't this save me  time?)



On  Boot's Children Cough Medicine --   "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We  could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction  accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds  with head-colds off those  bulldozers.)



On  Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning:  May cause drowsiness."

(...I'm  taking this because???....)  



On  most brands of Christmas lights --  "For indoor or outdoor use  only."

(as  opposed to what?)  



On  a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other  use."

(now,  somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit  curious.)  




On  Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning:  contains nuts."

(talk  about a news flash)  




On  an American Airlines packet of nuts --   "Instructions:  Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step  3: say what?)  




On  a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I  don't blame the company. I blame the parents for  this one.)  




On  a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do  not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh  my God..was there a lot of this happening,  somewhere?)




I don't even see the fork--- and what about those contents?


(I guess they had to be with something. And to think,

it just looked like sausages to me.)


submitted by JCT, restaurateur, just north of Dallas, TX



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