Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow
up), here's what I've discovered:
1 I started out with nothing, and I still
have most of it.
2 My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3 I finally got my head together; now my body is falling
4 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
6 All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
7 If all is not lost, where is it?
8 It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
9 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
10. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the
11. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a
12. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
13. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
14. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
15 It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been
16. The only time the world beats a path to your door is
when you're in the bathroom.
17. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put
them on my knees.
18. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does
everyone decide to play chess?
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
20. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
21. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
22. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the
hereafter.. I go somewhere to get something and then
wonder what I'm here after.
23. At some point my
24. Funny, I don't
remember being absent minded... or do I?
25. What was it I don't