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How Fights Start.......
One year, a husband decided to buy
his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift..
The next year, he didn't buy her a
gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the
gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight
started.....
================
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want
to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face
melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long
time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the
kitchen?'
And that's when the fight
started....
================
My wife and I are watching Who Wants
To Be A Millionaire while we were in
bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do
you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final
answer?'
She didn't even look at me this
time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a
friend.'
And that's when the fight started...
================
I tried to talk my wife into buying
a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold
cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night
than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight
started.....
================
I took my wife to a restaurant. The
waiter, for some reason, took my
order first...
'I'll have the strip steak, medium
rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about
the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight
started.....
================
My wife sat down on the couch next
to me as I was flipping
the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
================
My wife was hinting about what she
wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny
that goes from 0 to
200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started..
================
My wife and I were sitting at a
table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a
drunken man swigging his drink as he
sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old
boyfriend...
I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many
years ago, and
I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said, 'who would think a
person could go on celebrating that
long?'
And then the fight started...
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I rear-ended a car this morning..
So, there we were
alongside the road and slowly the
other driver got out of his car. You
know how sometimes you just get
soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it...
he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up
at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said,
'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started
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SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST…..
THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
When our lawn mower broke and
wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get
it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something
else to take care of
first, the truck, the car, playing
golf,
Always something more important to
me.
Finally she thought of a clever way
to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in
the tall grass, busily snipping away
with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time
and then went into the house. I was
gone only a minute, and when I came
out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, 'When you finish cutting the
grass,
you might as well sweep the
driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again,
but I will always have a limp.
Thanks to Maureen at "the view2".
Pennsylvania
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