Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
   You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
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   Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
   No, really?
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   Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
   Now, that's taking things a bit far!
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   Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
   What a guy!
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   Miners Refuse to Work after Death
   Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!
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   Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
   See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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   War Dims Hope for Peace
   I can see where it might have that effect!
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   If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
   Ya' think?!
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   Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
   Who would have thought!
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   Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
   They may be on to something!
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   Man Struck By Lightning:   Faces Battery Charge
   He probably IS the battery charge!
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
   Weren't they fat enough?!
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   Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
   That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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   Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
   Do they taste like chicken?
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   Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
   Chain-saw Massacre all over again!
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   Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
   Boy, are they tall!
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   And the winner is...
 Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
   Did I read that right?
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thanks to Earl Bowings