1. As I let
go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner
2. I have the power to channel my imagination into
ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the
ones that are someone else's fault.
4. In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.
5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and
6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan,
whimper, and complain.
7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is
cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.
8. I am at one with my duality.
9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves
10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th
11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless
of state and local laws.
12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice,
for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all
day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer
into the bedroom.
15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I
will spend it worrying about the future?
16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that
the conspiracy is working.
17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes.
That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.
Thanks to Earl Bowings (title and
picture added by SeniorArk)