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From Years of Observation
o Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your
A penny saved is a government oversight.
o The real art of conversation is not only to say
the right thing at the right time, but also to leave
unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
o The older you get, the tougher it is to lose
weight, because by then your body and your fat have
gotten to be really good friends.
o The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.
o He who hesitates is probably right.
o Did you ever notice: The Roman numerals for forty
(40) are " XL."
o If you think there is good in everybody, you
haven't met everybody.
o If you can smile when things go wrong, you have
someone in mind to blame.
o The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he
can tell when he's really in trouble.
o There's always a lot to be thankful for if you
take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting
here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't
o Did you ever notice: When you put the two words
"The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"
o Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about
o The older we get, the fewer things seem worth
waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not
me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads
o When you are dissatisfied and would like to go
back to youth, think of algebra.
o You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
o One of the many things no one tells you about
aging is that it is such a nice change from being
o Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is
o First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse
forget to pull it down.
o Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with
sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's
o Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your
hand over my mouth...AMEN..!!