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Why
did the chicken cross the road?
Finally,
you will have the answer!
*******
DR. PHIL : ' The
problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first
deal with
the problem on 'THIS' side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the
'OTHER
SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting
by not
taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before
adding 'NEW' problems '.
OPRAH: ' Well,
I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to
cross this
road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls,
which is a part of life, I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the
road and not live his life like the rest of
the chickens.'
GEORGE W. BUSH: 'We
don't really care why the chicken crossed
the road. We just want
to know if
the chicken is on our side of the road, or
not. The chicken is either against us, or
for us.
There is no middle ground here.'
COLIN POWELL: ' Now
to the left of the screen, you can clearly
see the satellite image of
the chicken
crossing the road...' .
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: 'We
have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we
have not
yet been allowed to have access to the other
side of the road.'
JOHN KERRY: 'Although
I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I
am now against it!
It was the
wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
the chicken's intentions. I am
not for it
now, and will remain against it.'
NANCY GRACE: 'That
chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it
in his
eyes and the way he walks.'
PAT BUCHANAN: 'To
steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.'
MARTHA STEWART: 'No
one called me to warn me which way that
chicken was
going. I
had a standing order at the Farmer's Market
to sell my eggs when the price
dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me
any insider information.'
DR SEUSS: 'Did
the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the
chicken
crossed the road, but why it crossed I've
not been told.'
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
'To
die in the rain. Alone.'
JERRY FALWELL: 'Because
the chicken was gay! Can't you people see
the plain truth? That's
why they call it the ' other
side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if
you eat
that chicken, you will become gay, too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we
sort out
this abomination that the liberal media
white washes with seemingly harmless phrases
like 'the other side'. That chicken should
not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as
simple as that.'
GRANDPA: 'In
my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Somebody told
us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough.'
BARBARA WALTERS: 'Isn't
that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening
to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a
serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the
road.'
JOHN LENNON: 'Imagine
all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.'
ARISTOTLE: 'It
is the nature of chickens to cross the road.'
BILL GATES: 'I
have just released eChicken2007, which will
not only cross roads,
but will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your check book.
Internet
Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
This new platform is much more
stable and
will never cra...#@&&^(C% . reboot.'
ALBERT EINSTEIN: 'Did
the chicken really cross the road, or did
the road move
beneath
the chicken .'
BILL CLINTON: ' I
did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition
of chicken '
AL GORE: 'I
invented the chicken!'
COLONEL SANDERS: 'Did
I miss one?'
DICK CHENEY: ' Where's
my gun?'
AL SHARPTON: 'Why
are all the chickens white? We need some
black chickens.'
Hillary Clinton: ' I
have vast experience with chickens and if
elected, I will ensure
that EVERY
chicken has the ability to cross any road
they desire.'
SeniorArk: She was clearly trying to
find a rooster, board the Ark, and get some
tips on surviving the floods in retirement! |
