Ain't it the truth: 

Submitted by Bryan---Southeast England

Remember, some days you are the bug, and some days you are the windshield.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.