|
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES - -REALLY!!
Submitted by Maureen, ("The
View"), Sharon, Pennsylvania
---------------
"Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter"
Now that is really something!
---------------
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"
No crap, really? Ya think?
----------------
"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
Now that's taking things a bit far!
-----------------------------
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
-----------------------------------
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
-------------------------------------
"War Dims Hope for Peace"
I can see where it might have that effect!
--------------------------------------------
"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"
Ya think?!
--------------------------------------------------------
"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"
Who would have thought!
--------------------------------------------------
"Enfield ( London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide"
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
------------------------------------------
"Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge"
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------
"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"
Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------
"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"
Why beans are no longer stocked on spacecraft.
-------------------------------------------------
"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"
Do they taste like chicken?
-------------------------------------------------
"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
-------------------------------------------------
"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"
Boy, are they tall!
-------------------------------------------------
And the winner is....
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
|
