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7 MORE reasons not to mess with children

Just when you think you have them figured out...

*******

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

*******

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of
children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the
girl replied, "They will in a minute."

*******

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and
six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and
thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
 Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a
family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

*******

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do
the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in
contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are
some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

*******

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade
them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are
all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher, she's dead."

*******

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the
blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,
"Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know,
would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

*******
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is
watching the apples."

 

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