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7 MORE
reasons not to mess with children
Just when you think you
have them figured out...
*******
A little
girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was
physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because
even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was
very small.
The little girl stated
that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically
impossible.
The little girl said,
"When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked,
"What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl
replied, "Then you ask him".
*******
A
Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of
children while they were
drawing. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's
work.
As she got to one little girl
who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing
God."
The teacher paused and said,
"But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or
looking up from her drawing, the
girl replied, "They will in a
minute."
*******
A Sunday
school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and
six year olds.
After explaining the
commandment to "honor" thy Father and
thy Mother, she asked, "Is
there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers
and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one
little boy (the oldest of a
family) answered, "Thou shall
not kill."
*******
One day a
little girl was sitting and watching her mother do
the dishes at the kitchen
sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of
white hair sticking out in
contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, "Why are
some of your hairs white,
Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well,
every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or
unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about
this revelation for a while and
then said, "Momma, how come
ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
*******
The children
had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade
them each to buy a copy of the
group picture.
"Just think how nice it will
be to look at it when you are
all grown up and say, 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or
'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.'
A small voice at the back of
the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher, she's dead."
*******
A teacher
was giving a lesson on the circulation of the
blood. Trying to make the
matter clearer, she said,
"Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know,
would run into it, and I would
turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said. "Then
why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position the blood
doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
*******
 The
children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: "Take only ONE .
God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch
line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note,
"Take all you want. God is
watching the apples."
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