Observations on Marriage
1. Marriage is not a
word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage
is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the
woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and
the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and
the NEIGHBOR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and
when you see what the other person has, you wish you had
ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the
church and found himself married. A year later he
muttered something in his sleep and found himself
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking;
the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China,
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before
marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder
14. There was this lover who said that he would go
through hell for her. They got married, and now he is
going through HELL.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the
rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of
a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still
19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble
starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he
loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first
name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than
single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT
ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked
his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the
hallway lights on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The
other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes
his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The
next day he received a hundred of letters and they all
said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or
the wife is.