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 Congratulations!  You have found the most comprehensive independent "over 50" site on the web!!  You, or someone you love, will benefit from:  www.SeniorARK.com  Thousands of valuable Money-Saving Tips and Links to help Seniors and Caregivers Survive retirement!  And it's FREE

I need to save money on Utilities            I need help as a Caregiver.              Who are you anyway ?

Any health pages on SeniorArk?    health tips   -   health links   -   medicare

 
 Many Quick One-Liners        "Butta Bing, Butta Boom"

Q  How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
A  Unique Up On It.
 
Q.  How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
 A  Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
 
Q. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
A  They Take The Psycho Path.
 
Q  How Do You Get Holy Water?
A  You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
 
Q. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
 A  Dam!
 
Q. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
A  Polaroids.
 
Q.  What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
 A  A Stick.
 
Q. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
A  Nacho Cheese.
 
Q What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
A  Subordinate Clauses.
 
Q. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
A   Quattro Sinko.
 
Q. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
A  Spoiled Milk.
 
Q What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
A  Frostbite.
 
Q. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A  A Nervous Wreck.
 
Q. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
 A  Anyone Can Roast Beef.
 
Q. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
A  Right Where You Left Him.
 
Q. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
A  Because They Have Big Fingers.
 
Q. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
A  Because It Scares The Dog.
 
Q. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
A  Sanka.
 
Q  What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
A  The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
 
Q.  Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
A   Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
 
Q. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A  A Bad Golfer Goes Whack, Dang!
     A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
 
Q. How Is a Texas Tornado And an Alabama Divorce The Same?
A  Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer!<

Q: How many sociologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled "coping with darkness"

Q: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's probably screwed in too tight.

Q. Why did Piglet stare into the toilet?
A. To look for "Pooh".

Q. Why could the pony not talk?
A. Because he was a little hoarse

Q: How does every ethnic joke start?
A: With a look over your shoulder.

Q. How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Please...replacing low-cost units designed primarily to emit photons in the visible electromagnetic spectrum is easy.

Q. What goes "ha ha ha, plop"?
A. Someone laughing their head off.

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny!

Q. When do cannibals leave the table?
A. When everyone's eaten.

Q. What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
A. The cold shoulder.

Q. What is a cannibal's favorite game?
A. Swallow the leader.

Q. Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food?
A. He ordered a pizza with everybody on it.

Q. What goes, clip clop clip clop---bang, clip clop clip clop---bang?

A. An Amish drive-by shooting.

 
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